Void of Depression

Birthday cake

2012-01-26T04:22:00.001-08:00

Reset the World

2011-12-16T07:15:00.000-08:00

A month ago I told the world to not look for me for I will disappear for approximately 30 days. The reason is due to over dependence on social networking. The generation today can't get through the day without posting some crap about what's in their shampoo, who they hate now, and fuck. Oh and it seems like you have to post your relationship status for it to become legit. That's just pride.

One reason.

2011-12-15T02:18:00.001-08:00

I have deactivated my social networking accounts due to one reason: There is no next mission.

Seriously, after I log in, what's next? Nothing. You just stare on your screen like some lab rat waiting for it's treat. Time to break the chain.

NKK's New Officers = Approved

2011-06-22T06:08:00.000-07:00

I just got back from the NKK Assembly in DLSU. First, I stopped by the Behavioral Sciences department to say "Hey" to my teachers. After that, I went straight to the Andrew building, room 703. When I got there, there were a lot of students waiting like I thought that there was a class or something. Turns out, ISJ assembly BEFORE NKK assembly. So I waited it out until matapos lahat lahat. Tapos naki-chat na ako sa mga officers. Mababait naman sila. Gulat yung iba na may alumni doon. They were excitedwhen I asked them if they wanted to see their other senpais.

Forget the past, live for the future

2011-02-22T08:16:00.000-08:00

When I say forget it, I mean just drop the issue already. The pain wont go away if you keep on asking about it.

New blog

2011-02-21T09:52:00.000-08:00

The new Dream Sequence blog is up. It will contain what dreams i have which are interesting enough to share.

Cultural Festival by Not-NKK

2010-02-17T06:18:00.000-08:00

" FOOD FEST!

Support NKK by wearing your traditional Japanese outfits or any cosplay themes that you want! SLIFE will award three best costumes with extra food stubs! See you there! ♥

support us either by buying from our booth or help us around 1 pm i think they will set up the booth na so go there and help

KILALA NIYO NAMAN UNG MGA OFFRICERS sana

Plus YOU paid for the org registration SULITIN NIYO. mababait yung mga officers wala kumakain ng tao dun... isda lang..."

I received this email from an unknown stranger proclaiming that this person has a high spot in the org..pfftt like any of that matters. anyway lalaitin lng natin ung mga lokolokong ito na nagkukunwaring magaling sila.

First off...there's is a dress code already. I doubt that they would allow any cosplaying to happen on school grounds. Besides, mas maraming preverts ngayon all over the campus. Those planning to cosplay with very short skirts, please be reminded to shave the day before or one the day itself to avoid people throwing up thinking you're a dude but in fact you're a girl. SLIFE? The hell. Some of them don't know art and will keep the dress code intact for the judging event so please be reminded to actually follow it even though you're in costume!

No I will not support by buying from the booth. Tulong? HA! Kala mo lng tutulong ung iba sa pagset-up when in fact tutulong lng sila sa pagubos ng stuff nyo.

No, the officers aren't worth jack. They are a pissant group who think they know how to run an organization when in fact they tried to get rid of members who serve as the organization's only means of funding. Yes, the organization tried to get rid of otakus. Now, I don't have any grudges among the officers (back then) but when they labeled me as such, I was pissed. I joined NKK to be a yankee! A YANKEE! YANKEE =/= OTAKU! Get it to your thick craniums!

Now this is a kicker, mababait daw ang officers...yeah if you're not an otaku and you are part of ISJ. If you don't fit this qualifications, forget ever coming to this event. Parang nalugi nga ung iba sa membership fee kasi inulit lang ang stuff last year and it is more crappy this year. Hinde nga sila kumakain ng tao, tinatapakan lang. Ganyan naman talaga sa mundo nila eh. Basta ala kang silbi, diretso sa basurahan. Duduraan ka pa if you get lucky.

Hay nako...I just wish someone would f*ck up at the last minute so I can enjoy the event at least.

no...no way....

2010-02-17T06:17:00.000-08:00

Black Thunder: yo. gud pm and happy vday/ s.a.d.
Dixie Camua: haha. youtoo
Black Thunder: which one? v day or s.a.d.?
Dixie Camua: s.a.d.?
Black Thunder: single awareness day
Dixie Camua: yup!
Black Thunder: 0_0; haha. it can't be helped.

Ugh....will blog about this sometime this weekend...

Murphy's Law = Me

2009-12-07T20:11:00.000-08:00

Murphy's Law = "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."

I'm now scared to be in a group because everywhere I go something bad always happens...Either we get a low grade or something else happens. I do my part naman, its just I get bad luck when it comes to groupings. Usually I get the group with smart people but they usually ignore me for some reason. Maybe because I'm not like them? I don't know anymore...Sometimes when I get grouped, I sometimes get grouped with the somewhat smart but blames other people for their mistake group. It's really annoying on why things turn out like this...Maybe I should disappear for a while or never come back just to get rid of these problems...I feel contented with my life already, I don't see the reason for living for tomorrow since it will also go wrong in the end. Just like now, my group mates who scheduled a meeting today isn't looking for me since I'm still a threat to them. I already told them that the prof acts like this, grades like this, and expects like this. Did they listen? NO! They went on their own way and shoved me aside. They wanted to do it their way? Fine. But if they blame me for their mistakes, screw them. They didn't want to listen to me, you can go ride the last train to hell.

I feel so depressed today ever since the start of classes. Most of the time I stare blankly into space just thinking of what will happen later, tonight, and tomorrow. I could just die right now for all I care. No-one would want a jinx in their life anyway so why bother living when people reject my existence in the first place?

I'll probably OD on sleeping pills someday to escape this nightmare that people call their ideal world.

Loss of Imagination

2009-10-02T08:09:00.001-07:00

I think I have a problem with regards to my story making imagination. I just can't think of a good story for my games and I always fall into slumps because of this. I think its because of less reading....Hmm....

Childhood memories? I don't have any.

2009-08-01T06:13:00.001-07:00

There comes a time in every person's life which they experience life as a free spirit, as a child. People would often reminisce about their childhood memories and talk about them with family and friends. No matter how silly it was, they still have fun talking about it. One of my classmates approached me and asked about my childhood memories and I simply replied "I don't have any."

Those who were near me suddenly turned their heads when they heard my unlikely answer. I don't recall any "childhood" memories because back then, I was treated as a mature person for my age. I see those kids acting like how they are supposed to act yet here I am reading books on my own to which no kid would understand. If there would be parties, I would simply observe and not participate because my mindset is always set to mature person. Simply put, I grew up without a childhood.

I tried to make up for my inexperienced memories but to no avail, I just looked stupid. So I just left it like that, empty like my emotions.

Theory 1: Envious Older Sisters = AVOID!

2009-04-14T05:12:00.000-07:00

Here's my take on this theory:

When talking about relationships in a sibling scale, usually the older one is supposed to have a relationship rather than the younger one. It has been this like this since back in the days. But when the older one is surpassed by the younger sibling, things turn out to be sour.

Technically, this would result in a psychological syndrome in which the older one is being treated as the weaker of the siblings in terms of starting a relationship. It would look like that the older may have done something that made her potential lovers avoid her. It would seem that the older sister's charm isn't up to "that" level as her sibling has achieved. It would also appear that if the older sister is surpassed by the younger sibling, she would be hell-bent in destroying her sibling's relationship. She would then exercise her status as the "older sister" to manipulate her younger sister into ending the relationship and to avoid contact with guys. This may hurt the chances of the younger sibling getting in another relationship but she can't do anything since she has to obey her older sister in terms of family hierarchy.

My personal take on this is that the older sister is too envious of her sibling. Why didn't she think on why she can't get guys? Why did she have to ruin other people's chances in getting into a relationship? It's downright selfish I believe. Not only did she destroy two people's hopes in a relationship but she cursed her sister into getting into a stable relationship.

Here's a note for that specific sister:

Grow up. No one will like you if you continue that way of thinking. You are already an adult yet you act so childish about things like this. It's about time that you realized your weaknesses.

If the world resets, we would not have known each other. That would be better.

2009-04-10T03:47:00.000-07:00

Lately, I have a couple of theories that I wanted to pursue. Most of these are of society and would deem to be silly for some.

1st Theory: A girl who has an envious older sister would have a hard time pursuing a relationship.

2nd Theory: If the world resets, people would have a different personality from before.

3rd Theory: We are all made up by ourselves. Our imagination is what keeps us alive.

4th Theory: If one person didn't exist, it wouldn't matter to society since there will be others to replace that person.

5th Theory: If a group of people worship one person, they would fight anyone who opposes their religion, no matter how low they would go just to win.

6th Theory: If we die, we would be reborn in a different world.

When I reach out to you, it always falls short.

2009-04-08T19:32:00.000-07:00

*NOTE: I'm speaking from my own experiences on this matter.

Whenever a boy asks a girl out, the girl would think about it and if the boy's "looks" are to the point of jealousy of other girls, then she would accept. But some who would judge people by their looks and not by their whole being would eventually fall into zetsubou. Sure, the guy's look is to die for, but what if you learn he is as dumb as a rock, no wait, the rock got higher points as him? That's the problem with some girls right now. They only judge the outside, but when they learn of their partners' true sides, then it would be too late.

Some people like me are often cast away for people that looks good outside but rotten inside. Though I'm not saying that they girls and, sometimes, guys are wrong since they are indeed captured by the looks that the guy or girl emits but the girls and guys tend to drop their guard when they come across such a being. In this case, a proper investigation should be in order. I know it sounds like the term stalker but, it is an effective strategy to figure out anything about your dream guy or girl. Though people would tend to get away from you due to your actions, you can enlist some people to help you gathering intel.

As I recall, there was this girl who was abusing my friend. It wasn't like that before. They used to have fun helping each other with their homeworks, reports, papers, etc. But one day, the girl dumped a huge paper on my friend. It was a term paper of sorts which was a reflection essay deal. The guy said that he can't do it for her since it requires the girl's opinion on the matter and he would only help her through guides and such but not actually doing the paper for her. She, in turn, got pissed and logged off. My friend asked me on what to do about it and I said that I would just investigate the matter. Later did I find out that her sister got jealous with what the guy gave to the girl. So in turn the older sister ruined the relationship by posting rude comments and telling the girl to do this and to do that. So when I reported it back to him, he got all droopy and set out to confront the girl. He found her but there were some of his friends from the block who were there so he can't ask her on the spot or else it would make a scene. So he texted her: "Why did you dump that paper on me? Is something wrong?". He hid behind a car to see if she got it. The girl did get the message but to his horror, she deleted it. He got angry over it and texted a well stalker-ish message stating "I saw you delete that text" which in turn scared the girl to the point that she kept looking everywhere for him. I spoke to the guy afterwards, and he said "She would have deserved it for being so controlling. I may be a kind guy but when you abuse that kindness, it would be catastrophic for you. I may have not have taken revenge verbally but I got her psychologically. I believe that it was damaging enough."

Though the next few days are a bit enjoyable now that someone sees me as a: "Guardian Angel" or as a ShugoTenshi or theirs. It started when this girl was having her own problems with her love life. Well to make it short, she's confused on who to love. Her bf doesn't want to be with her and she wants to be with her ex which doubts her feelings about their relationship. I made it a duty to watch over her during my stay here on Earth. She appreciates it greatly but she still thinks about her problems.

Recently she is in love but she doesn't know why and with whom. Perhaps she is used to having someone by her side that she has mixed feelings inside and does not know what to do. Its like being in the center of people whom you love but you can only choose one path. It hurts,really.

Lesson for today:

If the girl you're planning to date has an envious sister which will stop at nothing to destroy your relationship even at the cost of her own sister's depression over her love life, don't bother dating her. Be an angel instead.

SOCRES1 Scribble

2009-01-29T17:39:00.000-08:00

This is just something I came up with on the spot. Ala lng ako magawa during class nun.

Everyone forgets
People are forgotten
Forgetful people forget themselves
Forgetfulness is the reason
The reason in unknown
The unknown is always forgotten
The forgotten will never forget
Forget nothing
Nothing will be forgotten.

Made something #1

2009-01-17T05:28:00.000-08:00

I got hungry all of a sudden so I went up to the kitchen for something to eat (Yes, our kitchen is upstairs). I was craving for tuna and just my luck, there was only one an of tuna left in the pantry. (I wrote a notice saying that we ran out of tuna BTW). So as I was cooking the tuna, an idea sprouted in my head for recipe. So basically while I was cooking, I just kept putting whatever gets in my head. So here's the recipe:

Tuna-Don

1 can tuna
1/2 onion
1-2 cloves of galic
1 tbsp soy sauce

steamed rice

1 egg
10 drops of soysauce
pinch of salt and pepper

First prepare the tuna mixture:

Drain the tuna from can and mash it a little so you get even parts.
Cut the garlic and onions. For the onions, do it length wise and proceed to chop it into bits if you wish but I would prefer the lengthwise cuts.
Heat up the skillet with a tbsp spoon of oil. Add in the garlic. Don't forget to smell the aroma.
Add in the onions and caramelize them. be sure not to burn them!
Proceed to add the tuna and mix it in. Add in the soy sauce about 2 mins after the tuna landed.
After about 2 more mins. has passed, turn of the heat and let it cool for a while.

Next the egg:

Beat the egg and add in the pinches of salt and pepper.
Add in the 10 exact drops of soy sauce.
Cook the egg like a scrambled egg style.

Preparation:

Get a donburi bowl (they have loads in Japan Home Center of in Daiso)
Put in the rice and make sure that the rice is flat.
Put the egg on top of the rice.
Put the tuna mixture on top of the egg.

Last Tip: If you want you can add a little ginger powder, a bit of thyme leaves or some oregano.

Happy Eating.

My heart is a big....void

2008-12-28T07:37:00.000-08:00

I don't know what's wrong with me nowadays. I don't feel like seeing people or even interacting with them. Although I talk to a select number of people, I don't talk to anyone else. I don't really notice this but a person has been posting messages that would sometimes hit me. Though I don't think this is intentional, it pains me to see such things.

I would also seclude myself in my room, away from people. It would act as a defense mechanism due to me being afraid of trusting people. I don't like people using other people for their personal gain. It's that very reason why I don't trust people easily. It is also a way for me to think of other stuff other than the topic at hand.

I just feel that other people may have a grudge on me. Various reasons come to mind but I wouldn't bet it has to do with me being antisocial. Some are petty reasons which are usually thrown aside due to its poor significance. But others are just plain wrong. Who hates someone for being themselves? That's just saying "Hey, change your life because I don't like it." That's just wrong since what right does that person have to order you around?

Well, the other issues would follow this post.